Ten things you will discover when online dating

So as a singleton, I’ve chanced my arm at trying to find Mr Right via the glorious world wide web. Hit and miss, my friends. Hit. And. Miss. But always entertaining none-the-less.

If nothing else, it’s all good fodder for this blog post, so here’s what I’ve learned while waiting for cupid’s arrow to strike:

1. Conversation is dead.

Dating man: Hi
Me: Hi. How are you?
Dating man: Good. U?
Me: Yeah, great thanks. Good weekend?
Dating man: Yeah. Urs?
Me: [Gives up. I’m likely to develop RSI before I find out where he lives].

2.  For some men, being married isn’t the barrier-to-entry you’d hope it might be. ‘Erm…so who’s the woman in the white dress in that photo with you, the confetti and all the happy people…?’

3. Some guys love a challenge. You’ve made it clear you’re not looking for ‘hook ups’ but they still invite you around on the off-chance you’d like to abandon your sleeping child and stray into the lair of a perfect stranger. Cheers, but I’ll take a rain check.

4. The block/unmatch button is your friend. There are some really angry/scary/crazy people out there. Seriously. 

5. The move-you-onto-WhatsApp-manoeuvre: guys who are keen to get your digits and get you off the site/app so they can keep on chatting to you and other women.

6. Too much texting. Too much. Too, too much. Backing up every single sentence with a choice emoji is, quite frankly, exhausting.

7. Some guys don’t want to know if you have a child. And that’s perfectly OK.

8. There are some very strange ideas about what makes for a good profile photo: selfies taken in the toilet; holding giant fish; flipping the bird; toting a sub-machine gun.  ‘Great, I’ll meet you under the clocktower at 5pm. I’ll be the one wearing the bulletproof vest…’

9. If there’s two guys in the profile photo – he’s not the one you hope he is.

10. You’ll be amazed at just how many people exist that you have absolutely NOTHING in common with…

So, OK – it’s not all bad. There are some lovely, genuine guys out there trying to find love too and, of course, this is all just my subjective experience. I’m keen to know what your experiences are of looking for love in the digital age…

 

binnight

12 Things every single mum knows…

Here are just some of the life skills you learn when bringing up kids alone…

  1. How to keep a mental checklist of everything we need to do for the next month. To do lists? Who has time to write those?
  2. How to hold an in-depth discussion about Pokemon/Frozen while secretly planning tonight’s dinner
  3. Coloured socks are your foe… unless you enjoy trying to reunite long-lost sock twins.
  4. Batch cooking is a lifeline. Saves time and money – what’s not to love?
  5. How to stand up for ourselves. We rely on no.1 – so best not mess with us!
  6. Shame-free shortcuts – whether it’s ironing just the collars on shirts, or piling mess in cupboards before our guests show up – we know how to look like we’ve got things under control.
  7.  How to do full face make-up in 30 seconds flat.
  8. How to carry a shopping bag on every finger. Less about strength, more about determination. We’re not going back out to the car again!
  9. How to play both Good Cop and Bad Cop when it comes to discipline.
  10. Housework? Mañana! We’d rather spend time with our little ones today.
  11. How to whizz around a supermarket like a Formula One racer.
  12. Whatever life throws at you, keep on going.

Agree? What would you add to the list?! I’d love to see your comments below!

Have you seen my epic Single Parent Survivial Guide? (Yes, that’s right, ‘epic’ – I’m using self-promotional bloggy marketing speak now).

You Baby Me Mummy